2.1 KiB
title: Project management is a scam
Project management is there to stop you from doing your job
There are many ways of doing so, and they're being invented every single year too.
Let's take the more known ones.
SCRUM
Let's make an infinite loop of micromanagement to see where the project is like, review what is left to do, add new stuff in, do stuff, and repeat until the project becomes a blackhole sucking up all the work with no final product to deliver.
DevOps
DevOps is characterized by key principles: shared ownership, workflow automation, and rapid feedback.
The problem is, shared ownership leads to infighting over differences in opinion, workflow automation on the Op side can only be achieved AFTER the Dev side has done its job, rapid feedback...again infighting over differences.
Among the key principles, I've seen only Ops, but no Devs.
CI/CD
So continuous integration and continuous delivery/deployment.
Aka, forever beta soyware.
RAD
Rapid Application Development.
So you mean we make an app as quickly as possible by making from scratch, and putting stability and security first from day 1?
HAHA of course not, it's all about using bloated frameworks, let security be handled by the framework maker, and stability, who the fuck needs stability!? All we need is more money!!
Feedback loops
Fucking hell man!
Can we release this shit already!?
We finished development like 5 years ago!
nope!
Because I no longer like this 1 pixel blue border on that purple background anymore, make it orange!
Done, can we ship it now?
NOT SO FAST YOUNG MAN!! I want to have the entire background be eyestrain-encouraging white, and font size should go up by over 9000 percent.
We don't need dark backgrounds, it's not 1998 anymore dude!!
REEE!! I'M A ZI/ZER!!
Waterfall flow
The idea is to do one thing, then go down to the next, and next, and next, and next, until you have to climb up that waterfall like a salmon, because work halfway down created a bug somewhere at the top of the waterfall, and fixing that will create new bugs some levels down again.
yup...